Stay-at-home-wife

I've written before in this blog post, Day 1, that I am currently unemployed and working full-time at finding a new job. Being a former English major, there really isn't much out there for me, and it has been a struggle. Still, I'm hopeful.

What I want to talk about in this blog post is how I am home, all day every day, while my husband is still a full-time student and part-time employee. This means that I'm dropping him off and picking him up every day from school and work because we only have one car. He comes home exhausted and starving every night, sometimes as late as 7pm. After he's done with school for the day, he still has long and demanding projects to do for homework, some of which can take up to 20-30 hours depending on their difficulty (he's a computer science major).

Since I have nothing to do all day except look and apply for jobs, this means that the "domestic" work falls mostly on me. I make dinner almost every night. I do all of the dishes, laundry, cleaning, vacuuming, meal planning, etc. When this semester wasn't as busy, Colby would come with me to grocery shop, but now he doesn't have the time.

For a little while, I was worried about the inequality that this situation might possess, especially after my little sister referred to me as a "stay-at-home-mom." I'm not even a mom!

I talked to my older brother about my concerns, and he reminded me not to look at it that way. Colby's and my marriage is one where equal partnerships will always be the ideal. It is definitely something we both wanted going into that big commitment. In this place in our lives, it isn't about Colby being the "breadwinner" and me doing the "woman" work. It's about both of us picking up each other's slack. I am not doing all of the household chores because I am the woman; I am doing them because I am the one who is home all the time and has the time and energy to do it. Being a stay-at-home-wife may not be my choice at the moment, but it is my choice to be as positive as I can about it, and be grateful when Colby does have the time and energy to clean or make a meal (which I make sure he does every single time he can).

I am, of course, still looking for a job. My career is very important to me. But I am also still super proud of myself when I try a new recipe and create a delicious new meal.