Do Mormons have Christian Privilege?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about privilege. If you're privy to feminism and feminist conversations, this term should come up a lot. There are lots of kinds of privilege, including white, male, Christian, cis, heterosexual, and probably more. You can learn more about it here, but I'm also just going to copy part of their definition here:

Privilege is not: About you. Privilege is not your fault. Privilege is not anything you've done, or thought, or said. It may have allowed you to do, or think, or say things, but it's not those things, and it's not because of those things. Privilege is not about taking advantage, or cheating, although privilege may make this easier. Privilege is not negated. I can't balance my white privilege against my female disadvantage and come out neutral. Privilege is not something you can be exempt from by having had a difficult life. Privilege is not inherently bad. It really isn't. 
Privilege is: About how society accommodates you. It's about advantages you have that you think are normal. It's about you being normal, and others being the deviation from normal. It's about fate dealing from the bottom of the deck on your behalf. 

Basically, privilege is about where you fall in the human hierarchical food chain. Some of my high school friends used to have this joke (that they probably didn't come up with) that in order to be the biggest minority, you'd have to be a black Jewish female lesbian, or something like that. And that's kind of what privilege is.

So, that being said, let's talk a little bit about Mormons and privilege.

Mormons

Mormons are kind of weird. We are Christian because we believe in Jesus Christ as the Savior who Atoned for our sins and etc. Lots of other Christians don't want us to call ourselves "Christians" because we don't believe in the Godhead the same way most other Christians do. We believe in the Bible, but we also have the Book of Mormon. Basically, we're half in and half out of the majority of Christiandom. 

Mormons are also frequently a minority. In my high school, I was one of four Mormons, one of which was my sister. I can remember very vividly the day we talked about Mormons in my U.S. history class. I sat silently while my classmates asked our teacher if Mormons were the ones who never cut their hair and other far-fetched rumors and misconceptions. Most of them had never even heard of Mormons - they were obviously confusing us with Mennonites, Amish, and even Sikhism (I believe). It was only at the end that I revealed to everyone that I was one of these fantastical Mormons. From then on out, I would be called "MormaGirl," or "that Mormon girl," and random students I had never met would come up to me in the cafeteria and ask me if I was "the Mormon." 

The only place where this isn't the case at all is in Utah. Last I heard, Utah is 60% LDS, though Salt Lake City is only 40%. There are obviously other parts of the country where Mormons may not be the majority of the population, but they also are common enough that most people have heard of us and know the gist of what we're about.

Privilege

Christianity is a type of privilege, at least in most of the Western world. Certainly in the U.S. Find out what exactly this means here. My question has been: if Mormons are Christians, do they have all of the same privileges that Christians tend to have? 

Let's look at the article with the 35 privileges that Christians have.

#3 - It is easy to find stores that carry items that enable you to practice your faith and celebrate religious holidays.	Finding stores that are specifically geared towards LDS members is extremely hard outside of Utah. I don't think I ever knew of one in Massachusetts. However, finding stores that sell Christmas items – which Mormons do celebrate – is easy.
#8 - You can practice your religious customs without being questioned, mocked, or inhibited.	No, practicing our religious customs has not been inhibited, at least not in modern times. That is definitely a big deal. But our religious customs are generally questioned and mocked. “Magic underwear” anyone? That wasn't a fun phase to go through.
#11 - Positive references to your faith are seen dozens a time a day by everyone, regardless of their faith.	Sure, there are positive references to Mormonism. Many consider Mormons to be hard-working, polite, and clean-cut, giving them a reputation of being excellent hires. But there are also lots of bad references. We've been called a “cult” lots of times. People still can't seem to get over polygamy, even though that was over a hundred years ago.
#14 - It is easy for you to find your faith accurately depicted in television, movies, books, and other media.	No. This almost never happens. Polygamy, Joseph Smith as a gold-digger, polygamy again, missionaries … Mormonism is apparently great fodder for cheap, cliché, over-used jokes.
#15 - You can reasonably assume that anyone you encounter will have a decent understanding of your beliefs.	Nope. This would be a refreshing surprise. Even in Utah, lots of people who aren't LDS have some confused ideas about us (not that I can blame them).
#17 - Your faith is accepted/supported at your workplace.	As a Mormon not living in Utah, your faith will probably be mocked and misunderstood in your workplace.
#20 - Your faith can be an aspect of your identity without being a defining aspect (e.g., people won’t think of you as their “Christian” friend)	Like I said before, I've absolutely been known as the Mormon friend. This will change depending on where you live.
#24 - You are never asked to speak on behalf of all the members of your faith.	I've done that many times. I've been trained to do that from an early age.
#25 - It is unlikely you will be judged by the actions of other members of your faith.	Polygamy falls under this again, but also mainstream LDS political beliefs. People think that “Mormon feminist” is an oxymoron because of ultra conservative Mormons.
#26 - You can go anywhere and assume you will be surrounded by members of your faith.	No. That's why we have special camps and conferences!
#27 - Without special effort, your children will have a multitude of teachers who share your faith.	I've only ever had one teacher who had ever been LDS at any point in his life. That was the weirdest fluke ever.
#28 - Without special effort, your children will have a multitude of friends who share your faith.	No, and that was sometimes difficult. But when I was going to elementary school in a very conservative part of California, I definitely had SOME LDS friends. As I've previously stated, that was not the case in high school. So again, this depends on your area.
#29 - It is easily accessible for you or your children to be educated from kindergarten through post-grad at institutions of your faith.	I used to dream of a private elementary school that was LDS-run. Now I realize how weird that would be. But there are a few colleges that are LDS-run. BYU, BYU-I, BYU-H, LDS Business College, and Southern Virginia University (though that is not officially run by the Church).
#32 - Your faith is taught or offered as a course at most public institutions.	Only in Utah.

So that's 14 out of 35 that I believe don't apply to Mormons. There are a few more on there, like having a jury of your peers that share your religious values, but I think in that case the fact that a jury of our peers would most likely be Christian counts as a privilege for us. (In fact, I think in Jodi Arias's Case, her defense tried to use her Mormon faith/culture in her trial.)

And obviously, almost all of these don't count in Utah. In Utah, Mormonism is the majority and the institution in power, so we do have Mormon privilege. That's an odd phenomenon, huh? 

What's the point of all of this? Absolutely nothing. It was honestly something that I was curious about. Obviously, while Mormons have endured lots of shit, especially in our early days, we are still higher up on the religion food chain in the U.S. than many other minority and misunderstood religions. I do not mean to lessen the experiences that those of real minority faiths. Though I do believe that being LDS in some areas can give us an idea of what it means to be a minority, we still enjoy many advantages that Christians in general have in this country.

EDIT: A few days later, this happened:

Then this:

I've never heard of that before. But I guess it happens.

5 Ways to Make Modesty More Spiritual

One issue that Mormon feminists have is that of "modesty culture." (For more on "modesty culture," you can check out the definition, an awesome blog post at Experimental Criticism, and a blog post by me.) I think that most MoFems, myself included, wished that modesty revolved less around the length of your skirt and more around spiritual traits.

But that got me thinking - what is modesty that has nothing to do with clothing? When the For the Strength of Youth isn't talking about the specifics of clothing and appearance, it says

"Your body is sacred. Respect it and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ and that you love Him."

That part was great, but none of the rest of the For the Strength of Youth was super helpful for what I was trying to figure out. Upon some further exploration of LDS.org, I found this entry (here):

I like this one a little better. Modesty is transfered from clothing choices to an "attitude," and behaviors.

Elaine S. Dalton said this in her talk Stay on the Path:

Virtue encompasses modesty—in thought, language, dress, and demeanor ... When we are modest, we show others that we understand our relationship with our Father in Heaven as His daughters. We demonstrate that we love Him and that we will stand as a witness of Him in all things. Being modest lets others know that we “cherish virtue” (“Dearest Children, God Is Near You,” Hymns, no. 96). Modesty is not a matter of being “hip.” It is a matter of the heart and being holy. It is not about being fashionable. It is about being faithful. It is not about being cool. It is about being chaste and keeping covenants. It is not about being popular, but about being pure.

This is a little more helpful in describing the attitudes, thoughts, and behavior. Essentially, what I get from this paragraph is that it is more important to have a relationship with Heavenly Father than to be popular, fashionable, etc. Modesty is about what is inside of you rather than what is outside of you.

So how do we figure that out? Telling us that modesty is an "attitude," "behavior," "thought," and "demeanor" isn't very specific. What thoughts are we supposed to be thinking? How exactly are we supposed to be behaving?

Behaviors of Modesty

So what are the behaviors of modesty? That's really not an easy question to answer. The definition of modesty outside of Christianity probably has something to do with being humble. But how do we have a demeanor of being humble without putting ourselves down all of the time?  

Here are a few answers that I've thought up. These are obviously not perfect and may not work for everyone, but I think they're a good start to answering this complicated question. 

1. Love yourself - We've all heard before that it's hard to love others if you don't love yourself first, but it's true! It's also difficult to take care of your body if you hate it. So much of our society and media today tries to tell you that you aren't good enough, that your body isn't perfect enough. Start working today to undo the harmful messages that are all around you. Try daily to think of parts of your body that you genuinely like. Stop buying magazines and comparing yourself to celebrities that spend hours a day working out and then are photoshopped in the pictures (check out Beauty Redefined to learn more about harmful media). Don't let yourself look in a mirror for entire day. Skip makeup.

2. Take care of yourself - You don't need to spend hours a day exercising and restricting yourself to an oppressive diet. But you should also take care of yourself physically. To me, all this means is maybe going out for a leisurely nature walk or trying to cut out fast food. It also means letting yourself relax and not get too stressed. Do some yoga or have a dance party with your friends. There can be good, helpful ways to maintain some healthy habits without making yourself unhappy. Also, eat the cake! If you want dessert, go reward yourself with some. Just make sure you don't binge eat on anything either - keep a healthy balance of eating good, supportive foods and fun, helpful exercise. Nap in the middle of the day if you feel like it. 

3. Love others - This one relates to #1. If you are constantly criticizing others around you, those thoughts are going to turn inwards. If you are worried about someone else's clothing, you're also going to start worrying about your own. That kind of poison doesn't leave you. It stays inside of you and hurts you. Mean thoughts towards others is also not Christlike in the least. How can you love and serve others if you're secretly calling them fat or slutty? Answer: YOU CAN'T! Next time you catch yourself criticizing someone else in your head, try to replace the thought with a positive one. Think about instead how their hair looks great, or how they're really good at making friends, or how talented they are. You don't have to go overboard and make yourself feel bad (because we're not comparing ourselves to others, right???), but you should try to banish the negative thoughts you have about others.

4. Be grateful - It's not always easy to be happy with what God gave us. All of us go through a terrible combination of puberty, high school, and more that make us dislike at least part of our bodies. But think about how remarkable we are. Our bodies are so miraculous and complex that scientists still haven't figured it all out - we still don't even know why bodies need sleep! And God created that all. When you pray at night, thank Heavenly Father for the individual amazing things your body does. Go outside and feel the sunlight on your skin. Lay with your eyes closed and pay attention to your breathing. I believe that an attitude of modesty is caring more about what your body DOES rather than how your body LOOKS. 

5. Be creative - There are so many awesome ways to make, recreate, recycle, or decorate clothing on Pinterest. I've got a million of them right here. Try a few of the ones that appeal to you. Learn how to sew or crochet or whatever. Learning a new skill will again help you to value what you can do over your appearance. Take pride in your work and wear it boldly. Personalize it to show off your unique personality. Even if you've made a mistake in your artwork, no one else will notice. Go up to people and brag about it (I don't mean really get in their face brag, but more like "hey look! I made this! I'm pretty proud of myself for making a goal and accomplishing it! Now I have this awesome product I love!"). Creating your own clothing pieces will allow you to make it as modest as you like it. You'll also begin to care less about the cost of clothing or the brand names. You can spend your extra money on more worthwhile things, like having fun with friends. You'll feel more comfortable, because your clothes will actually fit your size, unlike clothes at stores that are very hit or miss.

Those are my ideas, at least. I would love to hear if you have any great ideas for how you make modesty more spiritual! Please share your thoughts, comments, or questions below.

Self-Reliance Versus Charity

For the past few months, I've been working as a freelance writer for a food storage company. It's been a completely different experience for me - I've always found emergency preparedness and food storage boring before. Now, I actually find it quite interesting.

Frequently, I run into resources that are affiliated with the Church. The books I read are mainly written by authors living in Utah, website I come across are made by members, etc. I don't think you could be a prepper or survivalist without being aware of the Church's involvement with emergency preparedness.

It really shows this attitude that members of the Church have. Because the Church has constantly pushed emergency preparedness, members develop a deep appreciation for self-reliance. And I can understand that - I think it'd be awesome to grow my own food, be prepared for any type of emergency, have parts of my house run on solar power, grown-up stuff like that. Those are goals I want to achieve, for the sake of saving money, being environmentally friendly, convenience, and as activities that will make me feel good about myself. As soon as my husband and I are in the phase of home-ownership, that is.

You can also see how the self-reliance attitude enters in to all parts of members' lives. I always marvel at how many Latter-day Saints can be so conservative in their political beliefs when it seems like liberalism falls more in line with the charity of Jesus Christ. Of course, socially, stances on abortion and gay marriage are similar between LDS doctrine and conservatism. But I'm thinking more like socialized healthcare - aren't we supposed to be taking care of our neighbors without judgement? Of course, that is a different issue I don't want to get into now.

I just believe that the attitude of self-reliance and the attitude of constant charity clash. Members are so proud of self-reliance that they stop being charitable indiscriminately. A problem arrises when self-reliance becomes so important to members that they reject receiving or giving outside help in any areas of their lives. They start to decide that one group or person does not deserve their help or charity because they are homeless, they are immigrants, they have made poor life decisions, or they wear pajamas and eat McDonald's all of the time.

The attitude of self-reliance should not be one that interferes with Jesus's ultimate commandment, which is to love one another. When Christ says in Matthew 6:3

But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:

I have always interpreted that to mean that you must give indiscriminately. I grew up hearing the excuses of why you should not give to homeless beggars or panhandlers because they'll use the money for drugs or booze, or because they should be trying to find a job instead of wasting their time begging. I've heard that you should try to buy them a sandwich instead of giving pocket change (which isn't terrible, and probably is the option that most people feel comfortable with, including myself). But Jesus never said "only give to the people who you know will use it the way you want them to use it." He never had caveats. In fact, He's a big proponent of not judging anyone, remember? He only said give!

So to me, self-reliance means that you must have yourself and your family fully taken care of before you can fully give indiscriminately. Self-reliance means not making yourself someone in need of charity while you are trying to give charity yourself. It does not mean holding out or judging others.  

And, absolutely, self-reliance is not more important than charity.

Personal Feminist reading of scriptures

Wow, I haven't posted anything in a long time. Sorry about that!

I decided to take the Women in the Scriptures challenge (outlined here by another blogger). I'm really enjoying it so far, and learning a lot. I would recommend doing this for any religious person, especially women. I feel like there's much we could learn from women in the scriptures, but common Sunday School lessons just pass over them in favor of the easier-to-interpret male stories.

The Importance of a Feminist Reading of Scriptures
Recently, I found a blog that used The Avengers as a way to introduce Book of Mormon heroes to little boys in an FHE lesson. While his goal was admirable (using something his sons already enjoyed to bring a modern and easier-to-relate-to twist to ancient scriptures), I disliked his end result. He included all of the male Avengers and Loki, but did not include Black Widow/Natasha or Nick Fury. You could excuse this by saying that the maker of this lesson didn't want to include Nick Fury because finding a colored character in the Book of Mormon would be racist. But I think it is more troubling to exclude both Nick Fury and Black Widow/Natasha because they have been "othered." By not bothering to find someone who fit into his analogy, even someone who is assumed to be white for Nick Fury, we are not acknowledging the white (assumed white, because the characters in the Book of Mormon were Middle Eastern in descent, but no one seems to remember that) male privilege that exists in Christianity.

And this made me very sad. The man didn't even recognize the implications of what he had done. But instead of attacking this man for racism and sexism, let's think about what was left out. Why was it not important to this man, and many others, to find a female religious example for his sons? Does he not think that his sons can have female role models? Why do we not even recognize the importance of having female spiritual role models for our daughters, let alone our sons?

The Male Gaze
"The Male Gaze" is a term coined by Laura Mulvey in "Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema," an essay that I absolutely love. Basically, the male gaze refers to the bias that men have as narrators. You can see this in different instances in scriptures when women aren't named, women are passive, female characters are depicted as seductresses who lead righteous men into temptation, etc. (I'm really not enough of an expert on feminism or scriptures to name every time when you can see the male gaze.)

As a former English major, I absolutely believe in the power of personal interpretation of a text. Basically, this means that the author's original intent when he/she wrote the text is unimportant. What matters more is what it means to you. There's no denying that somewhere in the Old Testament it says "wives, submit to your husbands." We can assume that the author literally meant for a patriarchal society where the "weaker sex" was controlled by the men with authority from God. But we do not have to assume that God meant that. We can assume that that exact phrase is part of the male gaze and the authorial bias, and not inspiration from divinity.

How to Do It
Characters may exert sexism within the Bible and Book of Mormon, and there's nothing we can do to change the actions of those ancient characters. But what about the narrator? Do we have to accept it when the narrator uses feminine derogatory terms, such as "the whore of all the earth," to describe evil?

I believe we don't. I think it is obvious that not every scripture is inspired by God, and that we can pick and choose meanings. Yes, this is taking liberties; English majors have to have "evidence," have to back up their different interpretations. But when it comes to spiritual matters, we are invited to find evidence through prayer, personal revelation, and personal impressions.

I'll give you an example of what I mean from my personal study and the Women in the Scriptures challenge. When I began to read Genesis, I decided to focus on Eve, especially Eve as a woman. Everything kind of goes okay until you get to chapter 3, where it says

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee (16).

Obviously, I dislike the idea of Adam ruling over Eve. But I decided what it meant is that Eve's relationship with Adam will be one of the most important she has. She wants to see him happy, healthy, etc. His needs will always be in the back of her mind, particularly when she makes big decisions. Adam does the same for her - at least, this is how I want my modern-day relationship to be. It does not literally mean "rule over," to me, so much as "preoccupied by."

I hope I'm explaining this okay. Either way, I believe it is up to you to decide what these verses mean. You do not have to take them the way the author meant.

Let Women Pray

Discovering Mormon feminists has been such a huge joy for me. It has been so amazing to find men and women who feel the same way as me - both in sharing some not-so-mainstream beliefs, and in the same emotions of being an outsider, being confused, etc. Some of the discussions we have are amazing.

It seems to me like Mormon feminists are trying very hard to make some small splashes in the Church. In the past, various Church leaders have spoken out against feminists as people who destroy families, essentially. I feel like these older gentlemen can be (kind of) forgiven because they probably witnessed a very radical kind of feminism that did appear to be full of home-wreckers for the sake of home-wrecking. However, many much younger LDS members follow suit, and there is constantly a lot of backlash against Mormon feminists. For this reason, they have to be very careful to not incite a lot of negative responses - such as excommunication - and try to limit their movements to changes that are not very radical, but still improvements.

One of these changes is being attempted by the "Let Women Pray" movement, found on Facebook here. (This is being done by the same women who put together the "Pants" event, where women would wear pants to church. They are called All-Enlisted.) Like this beautiful infographic says, a woman has never prayed in General Conference before, despite a proclamation made by President Kimball in the '70s that a woman can pray at any activity that they attend. I hadn't ever even noticed that this was a thing. I don't think most Mormons have.

Like I said, this is a pretty small step, especially when you consider that "worldly" feminists are trying to end rape culture and elect a female president. But I do feel like it is a very important step. If you don't think so, look at some of the crap that is being slung at this Facebook group! So many people who consider themselves to be righteous members of the Church are saying such rude things that reveal a lot of subtle sexism - or at least an unwillingness to question the Church. Which is sad.

So anyway, I actually wrote a letter. I'm going to admit that it is not very good. I think it's more sentimental than some other exerts I'm seeing from other peoples' letters, but I was trying to use a lot of techniques and wording that General Authorities usually use in General Conference talks. Also, I was full of feelings and emotions and tears (and, I admit, feeling the Spirit)! So it didn't come out very logically.

Here it is:

To whom it may concern:
I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints my entire life. I have never written a letter to a General Authority before, but I am writing now because this is a matter very dear to my heart. Even now, as I write this, I'm feeling very nervous, but also very sure that this is right.
I love being LDS. I love the sense of family and community, and the constant learning that is encouraged in the Church. I loved it in Primary when I had friends to play with and I loved being in Young Women's where I could learn about my divine potential and find role models in my adult leaders. But I became inactive a few years ago. I started to feel like I didn't fit in, no matter what ward I went to. I started to feel too different from everyone else. It is only in the past few months that I have regained a sense of solidarity by finding other women, and men, who have frequently felt the same way I have. This is a church for the misfit toys, the ostracized, the Nephis and Sams as we try to resist the Lamans and Lemuels of the world who dislike us for being too different. This is a church for everyone.
As women in this world, there are many ways that we are disrespected as a gender. Many times General Authorities have outlined this themselves when they talk about pornography or the over-sexualization of women in the media. There are many forces, including the adversary, who gain from taking equality and divinity away from women. We resist the forces of evil who wish to fill us with darkness by praying. I was taught from a young age to “search, ponder, and pray.” I watch my young niece, who is only a year and a half old, babble incoherently as she tries to imitate her mother praying. As a young newly-wed, I felt so much love and acceptance when my father-in-law, with tears in his eyes, thanked his Heavenly Father for his new daughters in a family prayer. It is with these small steps that we fight those who would try to take away our light. Even now as I write this, I can feel the Spirit overwhelmingly confirm to me just how important prayer is. I truly believe that it is through prayer that we learn to love our Heavenly Parents, ourselves, and everyone else around us.
And as a Woman and Relief Society member, I need to know that our leaders, including the General Authorities, love me and my sisters, and that they are listening to us. I need to know, and I would like to raise my future children to know, that we are all equals in the eyes of the Lord. I would like the General Authorities to show how important the power of prayer is to everyone by having a woman pray in General Conference where all members of the church – children, youth, and adults – can hear it. I would like to see the divinity of women recognized through being given that privilege.
I believe that the gospels and doctrines of the LDS church are true. And that is why I humbly ask you to consider this small request from one small daughter of God.

Questions? Thoughts? Please comment below!

 

Taking God out of things

I am home for the holidays!

My parents have recently moved to this very odd community in Southern California. I say it's odd because it's not far away from busy, thriving, ginormous cities, but it only has a population of about 22,000. It's two square miles large. And everybody seems to know everybody, either because they all went to high school together, their families have been in this area forever, they go to church together, or their kids go to school together.

Also, everyone here is super rich. The average family's house probably cost about a million dollars because housing is so expensive here. (Maybe that's exaggerating. But there are seriously a lot of wealthy people here. Tag Romney used to live here. Seriously.)

It's very strange.

And I HATE going to church here. I always go to the LDS church. And it seems like every single time, one of the extremely wealthy white privileged people (who are way more privileged than even your average white person) is making some sort of dumbass, ignorant comment.

This week, it was in reference to the Connecticut shootings, as well as other tragedies that they were glumping in there. A woman said that these tragedies are happening because we are trying to legislate God out of everything, and take God out of everything.

I was very angry at that remark, and then I saw this on my Facebook:

Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as “Holiday Trees” for the first time this year which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this 
piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America . . . 


The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejewelled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crib, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her: “How could God let something like this happen?” (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said: “I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”
In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbour as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing yet?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If not, then just discard it.... no one will know you did. But if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. 
My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

First of all, Ben Stein only said about the first four paragraphs of this. Does the rest of this "pass it on or feel guilty" bullshit really sound like something a famous satirist would say in an interview? NO.

Second of all ... what the hell? Really, people? I'm kind of ashamed to have you as Facebook friends. (Slightly embarrassed that my mother liked it, but she's kind of a whore when it comes to liking Facebook things.)

The White House has many different people from many different cultures, customs, backgrounds, countries, beliefs, etc. visiting it every day. If they choose to be sensitive in what they call a fucking TREE, I find that commendable. Maybe the people who visit the White House don't think it's necessary, and maybe no one while be offended by a "Christmas Tree." But I believe that it is the thought that counts, and showing that they care enough to try to be sensitive is a good thing.

The comments of this viral post and the woman in church are both ridiculous. The world is changing and becoming more diverse, so it will never be as religious as their "good ole' days." People are going to be generally less religious as time goes on.

But none of that will affect individual religious families. If a family wants to be religious and have God in their lives and homes, they will ensure that it will happen, no matter what is going on outside of their door.

This is also what annoys me about "Keep the Christ in Christmas" and "Remember the reason for the season." I, personally, love being very spiritual around Christmas time. It's really the only time of the year that I enjoy it. However, I find that it is very wrong to try to force that on other people. If people want to celebrate Christmas without being religious, and with being shallow and spending hours playing video games, then let them. How does their behavior change your spirituality?

Also, I really disagree with the logic that God is going to punish us as a community. Or abandon us as a community. That kind of thing is what God allegedly did in the Old Testament, and I really don't believe he does that anymore. I guess that's kind of a matter of opinion.

But seriously, this Christian majority martyr thing is so pathetic. No one is persecuting Christians in this country (except I've heard that maybe in some parts of Utah people are being bullied for wearing cross necklaces. That is ACTUAL persecution). Christians do not need to be upset that the rest of the country is becoming more sensitive and belief-neutral.

Ugh. People. I hate them and all of their ignorant bullshit.

Modesty

I've seen a few people in my internet feminist community start writing about modesty this week, so I thought I'd join in. I think my experiences on the matter are especially appropriate, given that I grew up in a culture that highly emphasized modesty, and, whether or not they meant to, pushed some sexist thinking on us because of it.

All of the hype has started because of a modesty club in South Pasadena (an area I actually have family in, so I'm really not surprised) that has gotten big enough to start a modesty week at their high school. It's also not surprising considering that the 15-year-old girl who started the club is a relative of Orrin Hatch, the incumbent Utah senator who shot down sex education in Utah public schools. She also has a brother who started a no cussing club at that same high school, but currently goes to BYU.

Of course, feminists do not want to tell women what to wear. I see absolutely no problem with women who feel more empowered and comfortable with their body when they are dressing modestly. I come from a family of extremely busty women (the kind of busty that creates cleavage even in a turtleneck), and also, sometimes I do not want eyes drawn to my body parts, so I completely understand. I do believe that it can, in fact, be very empowering.

But the problem seems to come in with the rhetoric of how modesty is taught in the Mormon church. At least, in my experience (though I'm sure my experience is not unique).

As a teenage girl in the LDS church, I was taught modesty a lot. I was told stories about girls wearing strapless dresses to prom, which made their Mormon dates uncomfortable because they didn't know where to put their hands. Certainly even their bare shoulders are too erotic for such a thing!

I was shown pictures of girls in full-out goth getup and told about how your clothing reflects on you, and allows other people to judge you, so you should dress modestly.

Above all, I was taught that I needed to be modest for other people.

How many millions of times have I heard this? "Modest is the hottest." It felt like to me that my fellow female church-goers only said this to try to convince themselves of it, because, let's face it, we all grew up feeling different and left out because of this particular lifestyle choice.

All of that built character or whatever, so I'm not complaining about that. I'm upset with this phrase because it compares girls who make a spiritual choice to be modest to other girls and tries to put them above those girls who do not make that choice. Being modest should never be about being better than people who choose not to be modest. I believe this phrase was invented by some adult somewhere who was trying to convince teenagers that modesty is "cool." But really, they just succeeded in furthering the whole I'm-religious-and-judging-you attitude.

If a woman chooses to be modest for her own spiritual enhancement, this phrase or attitude should have nothing to do with how they feel about it. I hope I don't offend anyone here, but let's take girls with Muslim beliefs as an example. Many of them choose to don clothing that is not mainstream in American culture for the purpose of enhancing their personal spirituality (as I understand it). Although I have not known many Muslim girls, the ones I did never really cared if other people chose to be modest too. They never had expressions like this. For them, modesty had absolutely nothing to do with other people (at least as far as I know).

Moving on.

I was also taught quite a bit that I needed to be modest for the Young Men in my ward and stake. I was taught that men are weaker in that they cannot resist sexual temptations the way that women can. At the time, I liked this, because I liked thinking that this was some kind of sacred responsibility and that women are on a pedestal.

All of that is complete bullshit. No matter what I wore to stake dances, there would be a dude who "accidentally" had his hand on my ass while we were slow dancing because he was "awkward" with girls. I totally fell for that bit more than once (to be fair, Mormon guys can be really awkward around girls). It is never a girl's responsibility to try to protect men from sexual temptations, and nor should we coddle them like that. Men are perfectly capable of resisting if they want to (even horny and hormonal teenage boys), and believing otherwise contributes to rape culture. Also, we should be teaching teenage boys that there is nothing wrong with being "turned-on," and that sexual interest is a natural and good thing, no matter what your religion teaches about sexual actions. That can be a topic for another post, though, so I won't delve deeper.

While some of the Young Men in my ward did eventually give in to sexual temptations, so did I. And I probably beat them to it, too. Because GIRLS WANT SEX JUST AS MUCH AS GUYS DO. Despite what movies and TV shows depict, or what my parents and church leaders wanted to believe, that is the truth.

So if I ever end up teaching Sunday School or Young Women's lessons, I would never say a word about needing to be modest so that you can be better than other girls, or needing to be modest so that men can better resist you. I would tell them that modesty is something that has nothing to do with their parents, their peers, the boys the have crushes on, or their church leaders, or even me. Modesty is absolutely a personal, private choice.